The Prize Is Wright

Once in late July of 1982, it is reported that someone in Bangor, Maine, saw Stephen Wright laugh.  Probably just a rumor but what is not a rumor is that wherever Wright pops up there are mobs of people laughing.

My friend John Hanson (as a Dartmouth College undergraduate, John was that institution's inspiration for drafting its Guide to Student Deportment) recently reminded me of the remarkable creativity of Stephen Wright.  As a stand-up comic, his material was delivered in his dour, lethargic voice.  I will share with you, my enraptured readers, some of the wit and wisdom of Stephen Wright.

Never criticize a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes; then you are a mile away and you have his shoes.

It's a small world but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

Everywhere is in walking distance if you have the time.

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into engines of jets.

Boycott shampoo.  Demand the real poo.

99% of lawyers give the rest of them a bad name.

I was sad having no shoes until I saw a man with no feet; so I said to him, "You got any shoes you're not using?"

Shin: A device for finding something in the dark.

The sooner you fall behind the more time you will have to catch up.



Thank you, Stephen.  Pick any of the above and memorize the line so you can slip it into a future conversation.  Don't mention Stephen Wright.  If John Hanson is in your group, don't try it.