Georgann was the Albert Einstein of shopping. To watch her move through a store, feeling and touching, was like watching Picasso paint. Beyond the limits of most mortals.
I would never presume to match the girl in her God-given talent for bringing price and quality together at their most advantageous point, but I'm attempting to learn some of the basics: Never purchase the first option.
One year we went to find the perfect Christmas tree and in the first lot we entered I spotted a prospect, which I stood up and slowly rotated. Perfect configuration and balance. "No," she said, "there may be a better one." After cruising the entire lot we agreed to go back for the first one and, of course, it was gone. One minor loss must not corrupt a master plan, she explained. Do you want to tell Picasso his lady has two eyes on one side of her face?
So I'm doing my morning walk and this salon has a sign proclaiming a huge saving on eye lash extensions: Three days only, $100, normally $175. Wow! I could save $75. But what if later I see some place that is offering them for, like, $50 and I'm stuck with these $100 jobs? I don't know what to do and I've only got two more days to decide. What would Georgann do?
Help!
Thursday, September 19, 2019
Monday, September 16, 2019
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
Sadly, John Bolton has no redeeming qualities that might offset the horrors of that hideous growth of hair that commands the incredulous attention of anyone seeing him live or in pictures. It makes one think of hiring thugs to pin him down to eradicate that offense to a humane society. And it pains me to admit that John Bolton's unfortunate facial affectation has made an intrusion into my personal life.
He has made it necessary for me to change the way I shave.
I was probably 17 or 18 before I had to deal with the issue of facial hair and dealing with it established a life-long routine that, year after year, became a set-in-stone ritual: Soak face with hot wash cloth. Apply shaving cream to whiskers (in early days with a brush and soap). Starting next to the right ear, down stroke to jaw line (rinse razor) and continue under jaw to base of neck. Back to top and repeat down strokes until reaching nose. Then go to left side of face and repeat down strokes at left ear.
OHMIGOD! What's that foamy white blob above my top lip? I'M JOHN BOLTON.
At my age I'm vulnerable to anything that plays tricks on my mind and so I changed a deeply ingrained ritual. I now start at the foam mustache. Whack, whack. Mustache gone (along with anything that might call up a thought about what'shisname). Continue with old system.
When life throws you a curve ball, bunt.
He has made it necessary for me to change the way I shave.
I was probably 17 or 18 before I had to deal with the issue of facial hair and dealing with it established a life-long routine that, year after year, became a set-in-stone ritual: Soak face with hot wash cloth. Apply shaving cream to whiskers (in early days with a brush and soap). Starting next to the right ear, down stroke to jaw line (rinse razor) and continue under jaw to base of neck. Back to top and repeat down strokes until reaching nose. Then go to left side of face and repeat down strokes at left ear.
OHMIGOD! What's that foamy white blob above my top lip? I'M JOHN BOLTON.
At my age I'm vulnerable to anything that plays tricks on my mind and so I changed a deeply ingrained ritual. I now start at the foam mustache. Whack, whack. Mustache gone (along with anything that might call up a thought about what'shisname). Continue with old system.
When life throws you a curve ball, bunt.
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