It's dinner time around the large round table in the dining room and Eunice lets Ella Maude know by calling into her bedroom (once Bill's bedroom). Ella Maude makes her appearance wearing a pair of her son's long-john underwear as a pullover sweater, her head through the back flap and each arm down a leg. This leaves the rest of the garment forming an attractive cape down her back.
Let us hear from her son: "Jesus Christ !" as he kicks back out of his chair and storms outside. Another successful mission accomplished. Or at another dinner Grandma might go into the kitchen and return with a can of Bon-Ami scrubbing compound and shake it liberally on her hamburger patty, take a bite and announce, "My, you don't know what a difference that makes."
Grandma had some classics that she would return to with satisfying effect. One of Eunice's church friends might be visiting and Ella Maude would say to her, "I couldn't help noticing that lovely locket you're wearing. I had one that was exactly like it right down to the color of the side stones. One day it just came up missing." The implication being that the lady had sneaked into Ella Maude's room and stolen it from her jewel box. And of course, it could work for clothing, purses, whatever the target might be showing.
One of her favorites acts earned the name, "She's gone again." To which Virginia, Mary and Bill would offer up a prayer: "Please, God, let it be true."
(To be continued)
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